In Order to Connect, You Have to Disconnect

In today’s hyper-connected world, we may think that we are the most connected generation in history. However, I propose for your consideration, that we are actually the least connected generation that has ever lived. How is that you say? Let me explain.

We are living creatures designed (or evolved if you like) to be a part of a bigger ecosystem – one where we are connected to the things in our environment – whether that be nature, animals, other people, or God. But with the advent of the internet, cell phones, social media, etc., we have lost the connections that matter the most – the real and natural connections that we are supposed to have. We have all but lost the essential thread of interpersonal connections with family and friends, social groups, communities and society as a whole. We have, essentially, become “digital hermits” within a vast internet of fake connections. So let’s take a look at this idea, how it affects us and what we can do about it.

Are You Losing Yourself in the Digital Age?

What are Connections Supposed to Look Like

A society with a healthy, robust, and thriving social network of interpersonal connections would exhibit several key characteristics:

1. Strong Community Bonds: People would feel a deep sense of belonging and connection to their communities. There would be a high level of trust and cooperation among individuals, leading to strong support networks.
2. Social Cohesion: There would be a sense of unity and solidarity among diverse groups within society. Differences in race, ethnicity, religion, and socioeconomic status would be respected and celebrated, rather than sources of division.
3. Emotional Well-being: Individuals would experience higher levels of emotional well-being and mental health due to the availability of social support. Loneliness and social isolation would be minimal, as people would have meaningful relationships and connections to rely on during times of need.
4. Civic Engagement: Citizens would actively participate in civic life, including volunteering, community service, and political engagement. This active involvement would lead to a greater sense of ownership and responsibility for the well-being of society as a whole.
5. Inclusivity and Empathy: There would be a culture of inclusivity and empathy, where individuals are valued for their unique perspectives and experiences. Empathy would be practiced both on an interpersonal level and at the societal level, leading to greater compassion and understanding.
6. Supportive Institutions: Institutions such as schools, workplaces, and community organizations would prioritize fostering social connections and relationships. They would provide opportunities for people to connect with others, build friendships, and develop a sense of belonging.
7. Resilience in Times of Crisis: During times of crisis, such as natural disasters or economic downturns, the strength of the social network would become apparent as communities come together to support one another. This resilience would help mitigate the impact of crises and facilitate recovery efforts.

Overall, a society with a healthy social network of interpersonal connections would be characterized by strong bonds, mutual support, and a sense of collective well-being.

What Do Our Current Connections Look Like

In the digital age, interpersonal connections have undergone significant transformations with both advantages and disadvantages:

1. Increased Connectivity: Digital technology has made it easier than ever to connect with others, albeit in a very impersonal way, regardless of geographical distance. Social media platforms, messaging apps, and video conferencing tools allow people to maintain pseudo-relationships and communicate instantaneously.
2. Diverse Forms of Communication: The digital age offers a variety of communication channels, including text, voice, images, and video. This diversity enables people to express themselves in various ways and fosters richer forms of interaction.
3. Global Reach: Digital platforms facilitate connections across borders and cultures, allowing people to interact with others from diverse backgrounds and perspectives. This globalization of interpersonal connections can lead to greater cross-cultural understanding and collaboration.
4. Disconnection and Isolation: Paradoxically, the over-availability of digital technology has also been associated with increased feelings of loneliness and social isolation for many people. Excessive use of social media and digital devices can lead to shallow, superficial connections that lack depth and intimacy.
5. Filter Bubbles and Echo Chambers: Digital algorithms often personalize content based on users’ preferences and behaviors, creating filter bubbles where people are primarily exposed to information that aligns with their existing beliefs. This can lead to polarization and a lack of exposure to diverse perspectives.
6. Privacy Concerns: The digital age has raised serious privacy concerns regarding the sharing of personal information online. People now find themselves in a world where they must learn to navigate the balance between staying connected and protecting their privacy and security in an increasingly digital world.
7. Digital Well-being: The constant presence of digital technology can impact peoples’ mental health and well-being. Issues such as digital addiction, cyberbullying, and the pressure to present curated versions of oneself online can contribute to stress and anxiety.

Overall, the state of interpersonal connections in the digital age is characterized by both connectivity and disconnection, with people trying to move through a complex world of digital interactions while still trying to maintain a sense of meaningful relationships and community.

What Do We Do About it

Perhaps the first step would be to “disconnect”, at least for a larger portion of the day. Disconnecting from the digital world and focusing more on in-person interactions can significantly improve social and interpersonal interactions in several ways:

1. Authentic Connection: In-person interactions allow for genuine, authentic connections that can be difficult to achieve online. Being physically present enables people to pick up on subtle cues like body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions, fostering deeper connections and understanding.
2. Improved Communication Skills: Engaging in face-to-face conversations helps to develop and refine communication skills. People learn to listen actively, articulate their thoughts clearly, and respond appropriately in real-time, leading to more effective and meaningful exchanges.
3. Building Trust and Empathy: Interacting in person promotes trust and empathy as people can better empathize with each other’s emotions and experiences. Sharing physical space allows for a deeper level of understanding and compassion, which strengthens interpersonal bonds.
4. Reduced Misunderstandings: Misinterpretations and misunderstandings are common in digital communication due to the lack of nonverbal cues. By interacting in person, people can clarify messages more easily, reducing the likelihood of miscommunication and conflict.
5. Enhanced Social Skills: Spending time offline encourages the development of social skills such as confidence, assertiveness, and adaptability. Engaging in face-to-face interactions provides opportunities for people to practice these skills in real-life settings, leading to increased social competence.
6. Increased Emotional Well-being: Studies have shown that face-to-face interactions can positively impact mental health and overall well-being. Sharing laughter, hugs, and physical touch releases oxytocin and reduces stress, contributing to a greater sense of happiness and fulfillment.
7. Strengthened Relationships: Investing time and effort into in-person interactions strengthens relationships with friends, family, and colleagues. Face-to-face encounters create lasting memories and experiences that form the foundation of meaningful connections and bonds.
8. Balanced Technology Use: Disconnecting from the digital world periodically promotes a healthier balance between online and offline activities. By prioritizing in-person interactions, people can cultivate richer, more fulfilling lives that are not solely reliant on technology for socialization.

So, in a nutshell, while digital communication offers convenience and accessibility, prioritizing in-person interactions can greatly enhance the quality of social and interpersonal connections, leading to more fulfilling relationships and a greater sense of well-being. We all need to make a concerted effort to “disconnect” more and focus on being actually PRESENT in our daily lives. Try it and I think that you will find life to be richer and more fulfilling. Here’s to good socializing my friends.