I recently heard, for the first time, a Brandi Carlile song called “The Eye” from her album “The Firewatcher’s Daughter” and there is a verse that says:
I am a sturdy soul and there ain’t no shame
In lying down in the bed you’ve made
Can you fight the urge to run for another day
You might make it further, if you learn to stay
WOW. That’s pretty powerful, as is the whole song. It seems to me that the song is talking about a deeply loving relationship of some sort, whether friendship or romantic, where one of the person’s emotional “demons” prevents them from surrendering to love and they are fighting against the vulnerability that would be involved in doing just that – while the other person is trying to help the first person learn to stop running and allow themselves to surrender and be loved despite their fears.
This idea in itself is heavy and deserves an article of its own, but I wanted to address just this one verse and see how it applies to us all. So, let’s take a closer look and see what we can learn.
The Breakdown
The verse addresses the ideas of strength, resilience, and perseverance on the part of the second person and the fear of vulnerability and the pain of past traumas on the part of the first. It serves as a reminder of the importance of facing one’s fears and emotional scars head-on and taking the chance of being vulnerable and confronting one’s demons despite how frightening that prospect might be. It also addresses the strength and perseverance needed in a relationship to help one’s friend or partner learn to love again – and ultimately love themselves.
By examining the lines of this verse we can explore the song’s powerful message about personal growth and the virtues of steadfastness. The song talks about a relationship struggle between two people but, don’t we all have two people inside of us struggling with one another. One half of our personality is vulnerable and scared and wants to run away while the other is strong and sturdy and carries us through life in spite of all the pain. So we will look at the lines of this verse in terms of it being two different people in a relationship – but also in terms of the two halves of one person’s inner self struggling to overcome the scars that prevent them from loving in a way that they so deeply want and need. Let’s dive in.
I Am a Sturdy Soul
In this line, the second person has a deep love for the first and has struggled through the trials of loving someone who feels “unlovable” and acts out in unhealthy ways trying to cope with, or run from, their inner demons. But despite all the emotional turmoil, the second person has long ago decided that love is worth fighting for and has carried the burden of the relationship for both people. But that’s OK because she/he is a “sturdy soul” and has enough strength to carry their friend or partner through the hard times.
On a personal note, we must all find the half of our inner self that is sturdy and willing to fight for the survival of our self-love, even if we feel unlovable or can’t find the courage to be vulnerable in love.
And There Ain’t No Shame in Lying Down in the Bed You’ve Made
We make choices in life that come with consequences, and we must have the strength of character to embrace those consequences even though we are ashamed of the choices that led to them. There may be shame in the choices but there is no shame in taking responsibility for the consequences of those choices. In fact, there is a certain nobility in carrying the consequences with dignity and strength.
Can You Fight the Urge to Run for Another Day
Half of us wants to run from our fears and inner demons but we must find the strength to put off running, even if only for a day, because…
You Might Make It Further, if You Learn to Stay
We will only make true progress in our personal growth if we “learn to stay” and face our insecurities, our fears, our shame, our weaknesses.
Pretty powerful stuff. Let’s look at a few of these points in more detail.
Further Breakdown
Resilience and Accountability
The opening lines, “I am a sturdy soul and there ain’t no shame / In lying down in the bed you’ve made,” immediately sets the tone for a theme of resilience and accountability. Here, Brandi acknowledges the inherent strength within each of us to endure and confront our circumstances. The phrase “a sturdy soul” suggests an inner fortitude, a capacity to withstand life’s adversities without succumbing to despair. This resilience is further highlighted by the acknowledgment that there is no shame in “lying down in the bed you’ve made.” This metaphorical bed represents the consequences of one’s actions and decisions. By accepting and dealing with these consequences, rather than evading them, a person demonstrates maturity and integrity. This acceptance is not about resignation but about facing reality with a brave heart, understanding that every choice carries its own set of outcomes that must be embraced.
Perseverance
The line “Can you fight the urge to run for another day?” addresses a universal human impulse to run from difficulties. This urge to escape, to avoid confronting problems, is a natural response to stress and fear. However, Brandi’s question is a gentle challenge, encouraging listeners to resist this impulse, if only for one more day. This idea of taking life one day at a time is critical in the journey of perseverance. It suggests that enduring hardship does not require an indefinite commitment to struggle but rather a daily decision to confront and overcome the obstacles of that day. By focusing on the present moment and taking small, manageable steps, one can gradually build resilience and find the strength to persist.
Patience and Growth
Finally, the line “You might make it further, if you learn to stay” encapsulates the song’s core message about patience and growth. In a society that often values quick fixes and instant gratification, the concept of staying – of enduring and being patient – can seem counterintuitive. However, Brandi’s words suggest that true progress and success often come from this very act of patient persistence. By choosing to stay and face challenges rather than running away, we can achieve deeper understanding, personal growth, and ultimately, a more meaningful sense of accomplishment. The act of staying allows us to fully engage with life’s experiences, to learn from them, and to emerge stronger and wiser.
In a Nutshell
Brandi Carlile’s “The Eye” is a powerful reminder of the virtues of strength and perseverance in the struggle for love and self-love. Through its lyrics, the song encourages listeners to embrace one’s fears, be resilient, take responsibility for one’s own burdens, and find strength through patience and persistence. By facing challenges directly and resisting the urge to run, we can make strides in personal growth and move forward with greater confidence and wholeness of being. Even though the idea of escaping pain and burdens can seem tempting, “The Eye” offers a compelling argument for the virtues of staying, enduring, growing and ultimately thriving in this journey that we call life.
“You can dance in a hurricane, but only if you’re standing in the eye” – You can live a glorious life in the midst of emotional turmoil and difficulties, but only if you find your center of calm and work from there outward. So, here’s to good emotional health and good relationships my friends.
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