What happens when life kicks you so hard that you’re not sure if you can get back up?
I remember seeing something years ago; one of those inspirational quotes that so impresses: “Life is not about how many times you get knocked down, it’s about how many times you get back up.” And honestly, it’s a nice sentiment. Very motivational-poster-worthy.
But today, I got kicked so hard by the system that it feels like I can’t get back up. Something that has been a part of my life for the last 38 years, something that has been a very important part of my identity, was just taken away for no good reason. To say that this was devastating is somewhat of an understatement.
Here’s the thing, though: I’ve heard others recount such feelings about equally traumatic events in their lives. In fact, if a person lives long enough, they will be kicked this hard eventually. So the question becomes: how do we recover from such a thing?
I think initially we need some time to process what has happened. That’s fair. That’s human. But I also think we must be careful not to wallow in the despair for too long. If we let the pain take over our lives, we become “institutionalized” to it. We accept it as just the way things are now.
There is no particular length of time prescribed for the period of shock and mourning; it’s different for everyone. But, certainly, we should make every effort to not let it continue any longer than absolutely necessary. And once we feel that the period of mourning has passed, the hard part starts.
What we must do next is to reevaluate the situation and see how to make lemonade out of those lemons.
Viktor Frankl, the Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, wrote about this in Man’s Search for Meaning. His book is essentially about this very subject; how human beings find meaning and purpose even in the most catastrophic situations. I did an article about this book a year ago and it can be found at TheKoinBlog.com if you’re interested.
But here’s the key point: a struggle is a struggle and we can’t ever let it destroy our resolve and our will to live. We must somehow find the strength to get up, re-evaluate the situation, and start problem solving; start making a plan to move forward. This takes willpower and resolve. It takes great willpower and resolve to pull oneself up and refuse to quit.
It’s frequently human nature to give up when the situation seems overwhelming. I think of that scene in The Revenant where Leonardo DiCaprio’s character tells his on-camera son: “As long as there is breath in your lungs, fight.” And I think that this really is all that we can do. Mourn for the prescribed period of time and then start asking ourselves: “What now?”
Anything less threatens survival. And as the world continues its spiral into chaos, we’re all going to face increasingly catastrophic situations. Situations that only the strong will survive.
So, be a survivor. And, hopefully, we will survive together and see each other on the other side of this mess.
Join us in making the world a better place. You’ll be glad that you did.
Cheers, friends.